They say marriage changes lives- for better or for worse- well, that depends on which side of the fence you are on! That also depends, to an extent, on your definition of better or worse. However, as I near the completion of 3 months into my marriage adventure (yes, that’s what I call it, replete as it is with twists and turns that seem Hitchcockian at times!), and I look back on the last few months, all I can say is- another chapter is being written in the book of life that we keep reading all the time. And as far as the better or worse bit is concerned, the jury is still out on that one!
Management jargon that we read in our courses and keep throwing with distressing regularity at our workplace to appear uber-cool, have a funny way of finding its way back into our lives! One such all-encompassing jargon is change management. Of course, when you take off your suave management hat and think of it simply (as we all know, management fundae often complicate simple matters), we do it all the time! I mean, managing change, and how you do it, is often the primary indicator how our lives are being led. Marriage, my dear friends (this is for those who are yet to climb the poison ivy!), is all about the same- change management! How you deal with the unfamiliar notion of sharing your life, to often the minutest detail, with someone else, how you think of two parties while making a decision that used to seem a no-brainer earlier, how you adjust to a myriad range of emotions swirling about like a turbulent whirlpool with you at the centre, often will go to determine how your life shapes up. However, all said and done, to all the marriage naysayers (the number of whom is growing by the way!), based on a three month experience window- I would say, its always better to have someone to share your ups and downs with, rather than trying to deal with it all on your own!
While on the topic of adventure, I cant but not mention the great Indian circus going on- the tamasha that goes by the name of IPL! Each and every character involved in this drama appears straight out of a theater group- the megalomaniac owner (Modi), the suave-looking-but-naivete-personified minister (Twitteroor), the customary romantic angle (Pushkar)- all contributing to raising the TRPs of the sensation-loving Indian media, and capturing public consciousness as well. In fact in this age of any publicity is good publicity, one wonders whether the entire episode was stage –managed behind the scenes in order to whip up some eyeballs! Of course, all this is being helped by the comical commentary expert team comprising of the hyper-excitable Danny Morrison, the completely crazy Sidhu, the shouting-at-the-top-of-his-lungs Ravi Shastri, the screechy Sivaramakrishnan, and a lot more jokers. Of course, one does miss Mandira Bedi, but then, you can’t have everything you want in life!
And while ridiculous events like the IPL & Shoania (Shoaib-Sania) episode are busy making headlines, the reprehensible massacre of the CRPF personnel has got the expected treatment- one day of headlines, two days of analysis and off it goes into the sidelines, to make way for more “worthy” news items! Of course, it doesn’t mask the criticality of the current scenario- having a trigger-happy irresponsible neighbour is bad enough, now having to deal with a group of men who have been bred out of systemic apathy and ignorance of successive governments just adds to the woes of our already-stretched, underpaid and ignored security forces. The fact is, viewing the Naxal/Maoist issue through a single lens might not be a long-term solution, for as with any other militant group (I would call this outfit by no other name), the resentment of a large vulnerable populace is being exploited by a small group of men for their selfish interests. Something the government should have noted long back, but they didn’t, which is what has led to the current situation. Unfortunately, time has run out for a soft approach, and the only way out currently would be an intensive operation aimed at obliterating this menace. However given our traditional soft approach to security issues and the prevailing democratic set-up, whether the government will be able to carry this out is anybody’s guess.
Of course, even in depressing times, there is always Navjot Sidhu to fall back upon, and just to quote one of his gems to finish this off: “There is always light at the end of a tunnel, but the light may be that of a speeding train”! Ahem!
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Holy Matrimony!!
“We cordially invite you to be a part of our marriage ceremony and share our happiness”- reads most of the marriage invites- those colourful, sometimes tacky-looking, invitation cards that are such a part of our custom. The families of the bride and groom invite all and sundry to be a part of the holy matrimony their children are about to be a part of, and which builds up to the mega event grandiosely called the Big Fat Indian Wedding!
As I sit alone in my rented apartment this Saturday evening and spend my last weekend as a bachelor, there are multiple thoughts streaming through my mind, in multiple directions, like dry leaves being blown around in an autumn afternoon by the breeze. I cannot still fully comprehend the fact that I am getting married, that I am going to share my life with someone else. I had left home 9 years back, and lived all these years as a true-blue bachelor, you know, things like, coming home when you please, eating out wherever (including the most unhygienic places) and whenever you want to, watching the crappiest movies in town and guffawing through them, spending money on the flimsiest of causes and excuses, but most importantly, not having to answer to anyone on anything! Now that all that is going to change, I can’t but feel a tinge of regret and a wisp of nostalgia, all the fleeting images of the last 9 years rushing back to me.
But experienced (I mean, married) people often say it’s a mix of both- the sharing of your life with someone else can be exasperating and uplifting at the same time, it can make you fight with your spouse over small things as well as give a whole new meaning to every day of your life. Well, I choose to believe them (not that I have an option!), but I guess it’s a quantum leap for me (or, for that matter, anybody who has been living as a bachelor outside his home for a long time)- from not sharing your room with anyone to sharing your entire life with someone! Guess this is a part of the change management situations that confront us in life every now and then.
The entire experience is once-in-a-lifetime (hopefully!). It all started with seeing my parents giving advertisements in the papers, me opening a profile on Bharat Matrimony, to going to meet girls to check (and be checked!) if they are the right match for me and my family, all in the matter of one hour! After the second interview (both-sided), I had developed a fixed set of questions, and in a fixed order, and the interview often resembled two wary boxers circling each other, waiting for the next blow from the opponent, and trying to duck under it and coming out with a reply of your own. It’s a difficult thing, and I’m sure those of you who have gone through arranged marriages would vouch for this, I mean, how can you really know who is right for you and vice versa, in a matter of an hour? Of course, after we got tired and selected each other more to get out of this infinite loop than anything else, came the courtship- short demure conversations slowly metamorphosing into endless talkathons, and understanding the person behind the face, a couple of meetings, and finally, the stamp of approval! The deal had been signed, and the project was underway! Of course, the final culmination of it all, the final act is still to be played out, but we are almost there….
What is it actually, I still don’t know. Whether we really complete each other, how it will feel like to wake up next to someone, to come home to someone, to know there is someone who you cant take for granted (like we do with our parents), and that whether the knowledge that I will not be coming home to roommates but my lifemate will make me want to reach home earlier than usual. But one thing is for sure, everything I know is about to change (for better, hopefully!), and as they say, end of one journey always indicates the beginning of another,……….
-An apprehensive soon to-be bachelor
As I sit alone in my rented apartment this Saturday evening and spend my last weekend as a bachelor, there are multiple thoughts streaming through my mind, in multiple directions, like dry leaves being blown around in an autumn afternoon by the breeze. I cannot still fully comprehend the fact that I am getting married, that I am going to share my life with someone else. I had left home 9 years back, and lived all these years as a true-blue bachelor, you know, things like, coming home when you please, eating out wherever (including the most unhygienic places) and whenever you want to, watching the crappiest movies in town and guffawing through them, spending money on the flimsiest of causes and excuses, but most importantly, not having to answer to anyone on anything! Now that all that is going to change, I can’t but feel a tinge of regret and a wisp of nostalgia, all the fleeting images of the last 9 years rushing back to me.
But experienced (I mean, married) people often say it’s a mix of both- the sharing of your life with someone else can be exasperating and uplifting at the same time, it can make you fight with your spouse over small things as well as give a whole new meaning to every day of your life. Well, I choose to believe them (not that I have an option!), but I guess it’s a quantum leap for me (or, for that matter, anybody who has been living as a bachelor outside his home for a long time)- from not sharing your room with anyone to sharing your entire life with someone! Guess this is a part of the change management situations that confront us in life every now and then.
The entire experience is once-in-a-lifetime (hopefully!). It all started with seeing my parents giving advertisements in the papers, me opening a profile on Bharat Matrimony, to going to meet girls to check (and be checked!) if they are the right match for me and my family, all in the matter of one hour! After the second interview (both-sided), I had developed a fixed set of questions, and in a fixed order, and the interview often resembled two wary boxers circling each other, waiting for the next blow from the opponent, and trying to duck under it and coming out with a reply of your own. It’s a difficult thing, and I’m sure those of you who have gone through arranged marriages would vouch for this, I mean, how can you really know who is right for you and vice versa, in a matter of an hour? Of course, after we got tired and selected each other more to get out of this infinite loop than anything else, came the courtship- short demure conversations slowly metamorphosing into endless talkathons, and understanding the person behind the face, a couple of meetings, and finally, the stamp of approval! The deal had been signed, and the project was underway! Of course, the final culmination of it all, the final act is still to be played out, but we are almost there….
What is it actually, I still don’t know. Whether we really complete each other, how it will feel like to wake up next to someone, to come home to someone, to know there is someone who you cant take for granted (like we do with our parents), and that whether the knowledge that I will not be coming home to roommates but my lifemate will make me want to reach home earlier than usual. But one thing is for sure, everything I know is about to change (for better, hopefully!), and as they say, end of one journey always indicates the beginning of another,……….
-An apprehensive soon to-be bachelor
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
The Decade That Was
A decade- the term itself sounds heavy and laden with possibilities. And so it has been, the last decade- the 2000’s- and as we stand today on the threshold of the old decade giving way to the new, one can’t help looking back at the decade gone by, and stop and think of the significance of the same.
It seems only yesterday that we were celebrating the arrival of the 2000’s, which was heralded with the y2k (anyone remember that?), which for many of our generation, was the first introduction to technology (quite an irony, isn’t it?). Of course, that bubble burst, like many others did during this decade, but there is no questioning the fact that this decade has probably seen more changes in the lives of people, in the perceptions that we held about life and society and indeed, in society itself than the last many decades put together.
It was during the beginning of this decade, that most of our generation were given wings to fly- we stepped out of our protected home environments into the big, bad world outside, left our cities, states and in some cases, countries and had the first taste of independent living. Some of it was good, some bad, we made mistakes and we learnt, we interacted with new people, learnt about new cultures and many of our long-held ideas and perceptions were fundamentally challenged. In a way, for us, this decade has been the defining one of our lives, it has given us an identity of our own, it has shaped our personalities, and made us who we are (of course, much of it is work in progress, but the process has started). We have gone to graduation college, undergone ragging, failed exams, bunked classes, fallen (and risen to fall again!!) in love, fought with our parents and friends and teachers, decided on our careers only to change track later, but overall, it has been a learning curve (quite a steep one at times!), one which has helped us in knowing who we really are, and for that reason alone, this decade assumes larger significance.
Looking beyond ourselves, this decade has been riddled with events that have shaken us, and often led us to lament the state of affairs in the world around us. A decade that started with 9/11, followed by America’s failed wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, which in turn contributed to the rise of terrorism in a form much more deadlier and more sinister than we had ever known, so much that it has now become (unfortunately) a part of our daily existence worldwide. A decade that saw the burst of the dotcom bubble, as well as a global recession of the scale last seen 70 years ago, and amidst all this the rise of India as an economic superpower and a global player in major political decision making, even as malnutrition, poverty and rural health remain some of the most challenging issues we continue to face. A decade where telecommunication has reached our villages faster than primary health care and education, it has been one of tremendous ironies existing side-by-side with major achievements in various fields.
It has been a good decade for Indian sports, which has been long coming for a race fundamentally averse to sports and exercise, we have managed to win an Olympic gold medal after a long time, chess, tennis, badminton and boxing have been disciplines where Indians have shown their mettle, and of course, this has been the decade when our cricket team has transformed itself from being a bunch of talented individuals to a feared unit worldwide, a process started by Sourav Ganguly, continued by Dravid and Kumble and given fruition by Dhoni. Indeed, this decade has made us a better sporting nation, even if only by a small margin.
Politically, this decade has been one of numerous upheavals and change of guards, with regional parties acquiring a lot of prominence and consequently bargaining power. But most significantly, a new lot of young leaders have entered the fray, giving rise to the hope that some of the current muck in the system can be cleaned up with time, for without youth participation, no process is complete.
This decade has also seen the rise of a new breed of urban, well-educated professional, one who has moved beyond merely running after wealth, status and possessions, to the next level of questioning the meaning of his existence, and consequently, we are seeing a lot of young professionals giving up lucrative corporate careers and venturing into the social sector. This probably indicates the societal change that has come about in this decade. This has indeed been a decade of experimentation, be it in business, movies, politics or any other field, and this trend is likely to continue into the next decade.
Of course, for our generation, this decade has been one when many of us have bitten the poison fruit of marriage, or are going to in near future, thus changing our lives forever, for better or for worse, only time will tell!
Finally, as we stand on the cusp of a new decade, it is time to take stock, of ourselves as well as the society and the world at large. There are many evils existing, shameful episodes like the Ruchika rape case which anger us to no end, but as with any other major milestone, it is always best to look ahead with hope and optimism and dreams. The next decade is going to define what we would be doing with our lives, and more broadly, with our society and country, and thus is equally, if not more significant as the one going to end. And so I end with the immortal lines by Robert Frost:
“The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep”
Happy new decade to everyone, and peace and joy to the world!
It seems only yesterday that we were celebrating the arrival of the 2000’s, which was heralded with the y2k (anyone remember that?), which for many of our generation, was the first introduction to technology (quite an irony, isn’t it?). Of course, that bubble burst, like many others did during this decade, but there is no questioning the fact that this decade has probably seen more changes in the lives of people, in the perceptions that we held about life and society and indeed, in society itself than the last many decades put together.
It was during the beginning of this decade, that most of our generation were given wings to fly- we stepped out of our protected home environments into the big, bad world outside, left our cities, states and in some cases, countries and had the first taste of independent living. Some of it was good, some bad, we made mistakes and we learnt, we interacted with new people, learnt about new cultures and many of our long-held ideas and perceptions were fundamentally challenged. In a way, for us, this decade has been the defining one of our lives, it has given us an identity of our own, it has shaped our personalities, and made us who we are (of course, much of it is work in progress, but the process has started). We have gone to graduation college, undergone ragging, failed exams, bunked classes, fallen (and risen to fall again!!) in love, fought with our parents and friends and teachers, decided on our careers only to change track later, but overall, it has been a learning curve (quite a steep one at times!), one which has helped us in knowing who we really are, and for that reason alone, this decade assumes larger significance.
Looking beyond ourselves, this decade has been riddled with events that have shaken us, and often led us to lament the state of affairs in the world around us. A decade that started with 9/11, followed by America’s failed wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, which in turn contributed to the rise of terrorism in a form much more deadlier and more sinister than we had ever known, so much that it has now become (unfortunately) a part of our daily existence worldwide. A decade that saw the burst of the dotcom bubble, as well as a global recession of the scale last seen 70 years ago, and amidst all this the rise of India as an economic superpower and a global player in major political decision making, even as malnutrition, poverty and rural health remain some of the most challenging issues we continue to face. A decade where telecommunication has reached our villages faster than primary health care and education, it has been one of tremendous ironies existing side-by-side with major achievements in various fields.
It has been a good decade for Indian sports, which has been long coming for a race fundamentally averse to sports and exercise, we have managed to win an Olympic gold medal after a long time, chess, tennis, badminton and boxing have been disciplines where Indians have shown their mettle, and of course, this has been the decade when our cricket team has transformed itself from being a bunch of talented individuals to a feared unit worldwide, a process started by Sourav Ganguly, continued by Dravid and Kumble and given fruition by Dhoni. Indeed, this decade has made us a better sporting nation, even if only by a small margin.
Politically, this decade has been one of numerous upheavals and change of guards, with regional parties acquiring a lot of prominence and consequently bargaining power. But most significantly, a new lot of young leaders have entered the fray, giving rise to the hope that some of the current muck in the system can be cleaned up with time, for without youth participation, no process is complete.
This decade has also seen the rise of a new breed of urban, well-educated professional, one who has moved beyond merely running after wealth, status and possessions, to the next level of questioning the meaning of his existence, and consequently, we are seeing a lot of young professionals giving up lucrative corporate careers and venturing into the social sector. This probably indicates the societal change that has come about in this decade. This has indeed been a decade of experimentation, be it in business, movies, politics or any other field, and this trend is likely to continue into the next decade.
Of course, for our generation, this decade has been one when many of us have bitten the poison fruit of marriage, or are going to in near future, thus changing our lives forever, for better or for worse, only time will tell!
Finally, as we stand on the cusp of a new decade, it is time to take stock, of ourselves as well as the society and the world at large. There are many evils existing, shameful episodes like the Ruchika rape case which anger us to no end, but as with any other major milestone, it is always best to look ahead with hope and optimism and dreams. The next decade is going to define what we would be doing with our lives, and more broadly, with our society and country, and thus is equally, if not more significant as the one going to end. And so I end with the immortal lines by Robert Frost:
“The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep”
Happy new decade to everyone, and peace and joy to the world!
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Greatness
I am heart-broken, absolutely heart-broken! I don’t know how many of you guys saw the just concluded cricket match between India and Australia, I just finished watching it, and we lost by 3 runs, that too chasing a mammoth 351 to win! (Warning: This post is meant for cricket lovers)
Very sad indeed, but that’s not the only reason I’m heartbroken, in fact that’s the lesser reason. The greater one is because I probably watched one of the greatest ODI innings of all time and still saw the hero ending on a losing side- a tragic hero of mythical proportions. Yes, I’m talking about the man himself- Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar!! I always thought I would write a post on him the day he retires (Yes, guys, I know it’s a blasphemous thought, but something that’s a matter of when, not if!). Those of you cricket lovers who missed today’s match, or gave up watching after Australia got 350, you have probably missed probably the greatest, and the most poignant innings of all time, by the man most people consider the greatest cricketer to have walked the cricket field after Sir Don.
I saw Sachin brushing a teardrop when he was called to speak after gathering his man of the match award, and that in itself told me a lot about the man. This guy has been playing cricket for 20 years, holds every record conceivable to mankind, demands and commands awe and respect from the entire cricket fraternity, makes millions a year and yet a loss in a one-day game in a bilateral series prompts him to shed a tear! A lot has been spoken about this man, there are still some morons existing who are quick to point out his deficiencies and failings. Sure, he is human after all! But not a mere human, a first among equals, and that too by quite some margin!
We live in a cynical world. A world where, strangely, we have forgotten to find passion in our lives (A small exercise: When was the last time any of us jumped around with joy, or cried with happiness?), where we don’t trust each other or sometimes even ourselves, where we seem to have internalized a lot of the negativity we see around us, where the erosion of values (its situational at the best of times, and thought to be totally unnecessary at the worst) is matched only by the lack of heroes and idols- someone we can truly look up to. It is in this world that the importance of people like Sachin increases, for this guy epitomizes all that people strive to achieve in their lives, in whatever field, and still retaining the humility and simplicity as well as love for one’s motherland that is a lesson for every one of us. A lot of us tomorrow are going to be successful in our lives, to attain wealth and power and status in society. But we would do well to look carefully at this man and understand the importance of keeping a level head on our shoulders, and at the same time living with passion and believing in ourselves as well as the world around us.
I would end this by observing that we, the cricket-loving junta, are a lucky lot. We have seen a lot of great Indian players at their prime over the last 10 years- Kumble, Ganguly, Dravid, Laxman, Sehwag. But nobody has given us greater pleasure, nobody has taught us to believe more in ourselves, and nobody has evoked greater passion in our hearts than a certain Mr. Tendulkar. Its been a privilege, sir! Rock on!!
Very sad indeed, but that’s not the only reason I’m heartbroken, in fact that’s the lesser reason. The greater one is because I probably watched one of the greatest ODI innings of all time and still saw the hero ending on a losing side- a tragic hero of mythical proportions. Yes, I’m talking about the man himself- Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar!! I always thought I would write a post on him the day he retires (Yes, guys, I know it’s a blasphemous thought, but something that’s a matter of when, not if!). Those of you cricket lovers who missed today’s match, or gave up watching after Australia got 350, you have probably missed probably the greatest, and the most poignant innings of all time, by the man most people consider the greatest cricketer to have walked the cricket field after Sir Don.
I saw Sachin brushing a teardrop when he was called to speak after gathering his man of the match award, and that in itself told me a lot about the man. This guy has been playing cricket for 20 years, holds every record conceivable to mankind, demands and commands awe and respect from the entire cricket fraternity, makes millions a year and yet a loss in a one-day game in a bilateral series prompts him to shed a tear! A lot has been spoken about this man, there are still some morons existing who are quick to point out his deficiencies and failings. Sure, he is human after all! But not a mere human, a first among equals, and that too by quite some margin!
We live in a cynical world. A world where, strangely, we have forgotten to find passion in our lives (A small exercise: When was the last time any of us jumped around with joy, or cried with happiness?), where we don’t trust each other or sometimes even ourselves, where we seem to have internalized a lot of the negativity we see around us, where the erosion of values (its situational at the best of times, and thought to be totally unnecessary at the worst) is matched only by the lack of heroes and idols- someone we can truly look up to. It is in this world that the importance of people like Sachin increases, for this guy epitomizes all that people strive to achieve in their lives, in whatever field, and still retaining the humility and simplicity as well as love for one’s motherland that is a lesson for every one of us. A lot of us tomorrow are going to be successful in our lives, to attain wealth and power and status in society. But we would do well to look carefully at this man and understand the importance of keeping a level head on our shoulders, and at the same time living with passion and believing in ourselves as well as the world around us.
I would end this by observing that we, the cricket-loving junta, are a lucky lot. We have seen a lot of great Indian players at their prime over the last 10 years- Kumble, Ganguly, Dravid, Laxman, Sehwag. But nobody has given us greater pleasure, nobody has taught us to believe more in ourselves, and nobody has evoked greater passion in our hearts than a certain Mr. Tendulkar. Its been a privilege, sir! Rock on!!
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
The Magic of Durga Pujo
“Ya devi sarvabhutesu saktirupena sansthita, namastasai namsatasai namastasai namoh namaha….”- its that time of the year again! Yes, I’m talking of the Durga Pujo- the opium of Bengalis all over, especially in Kolkata, and a time and occasion which is to be seen to be believed!
Now why am I writing a blog entry on Durga Pujo, you might ask. Especially given the fact that 90% of the people who will read this (hopefully!) are not Bengalis. But, I would say to that- hardly matters! In fact that’s more of a motivation for me to get typing and share my feelings with everyone here, because I truly and honestly feel everyone should come to Kolkata once in his/her lifetime during Durga Pujo. Yes, everyone, irrespective of region, religion, caste, creed, sex, sexual preference, culinary disposition etc. etc., and why exactly would be my endeavor to get across to the readers in the next few paras, as I look forward to going home tomorrow for the pujas!
What is so special about Durga Pujo? A friend had once asked me “I don’t understand what you Bengalis like so much about Durga Pujo. I find it hard to believe that an entire city can come to a standstill for 4 days continuously, suspending all activities!” Yes, that’s exactly what happens during the 4 days. Huh, big deal you might say, Kolkata comes to a standstill half of the year, owing to reasons ranging from trade unions agitating against their employers to employers agitating against their trade unions, political parties agitating against each other, auto rickshawalas agitating against the government who ironically once paid them to agitate, and common people in general agitating against all these agitations! Its an agitated city, I say! Yes, all this does happen, but the suspension of work for these 4 days is different, and very so.
Well, let me help you picture this- streets decked up with lighting of various hues and shades, colorful puja pandals depicting handicraft works from various corners of Bengal vying with each other, inside those pandals huge idols of Maa Durga and other gods and goddesses prepared and painted in a beautiful way, lakhs of people walking the streets day and night for a glimpse of the pandals and idols, small kids staring with wide-eyed amazement at the crowds around them to elders who have seen it all but still somehow come back every year for the experience, the best dresses being brought out and worn around by everyone, furtive glances thrown by the desperate neighbourhood romeo towards the pretty lass standing in front of the idol (and vice versa as well!), songs playing in numerous mikes around the city-right from the melody of Rabindrasangeet to the nasal cacophony of Himesh (somehow most of his songs always remind me of a hungry cow mooing away) , the smell of camphor in the air, the occasional noise of cap pistols being used by small kids in the neighborhood pandals…well I can go on and on, but by now you get the point!
Durga Pujo, especially for someone like me, who has been brought up in Kolkata, is very much a part of our childhood memories, our growing up and an integral part of our soul. Its actually a bit like being in love - you feel it inside you but its difficult to describe it to others! Its actually much more than a puja, and extends much beyond religious affiliations. It’s a celebration of life- of everything that’s good around us, and a reminder of the simple pleasures of life. When you walk the streets of Kolkata during this time, whoever you are or wherever you are from, you just cant escape the mood, the music in the air, the swaying of the “kashful” (a white flower) to the wind, the purity everywhere in the atmosphere and the overall feeling of joy, happiness and colour around you that is bound to bring a smile in your eyes, lips and heart!
Of course, in recent years, pujo has become more of an industry, with politicians getting actively involved in setting up huge pandals in their constituencies in order to garner votes, and budgets of pujas often looking that of a mid-size company, the entry of corporate sponsors into the pujas, and the consequent commercialization of the entire thing.
However, that doesn’t take anything away from the feeling I have right now when I am preparing to go home for the pujas, because, like a bioscope, I can see fleeting images of a ten-year old boy playing and running around in the puja pandal of his family home, holding a small cap pistol in hand, with his friends and relatives and family around him, and a beautiful idol of Maa Durga watching over him. The boy looks up, laughs and starts running again- he is still running, to reach home tomorrow in time for the most magical place on earth during these 4 days- Kolkata! And while doing so, he invites everyone he knows over to Kolkata for these 4 days to feel the experience, to get a slice of life, to see Durga Pujo!
Now why am I writing a blog entry on Durga Pujo, you might ask. Especially given the fact that 90% of the people who will read this (hopefully!) are not Bengalis. But, I would say to that- hardly matters! In fact that’s more of a motivation for me to get typing and share my feelings with everyone here, because I truly and honestly feel everyone should come to Kolkata once in his/her lifetime during Durga Pujo. Yes, everyone, irrespective of region, religion, caste, creed, sex, sexual preference, culinary disposition etc. etc., and why exactly would be my endeavor to get across to the readers in the next few paras, as I look forward to going home tomorrow for the pujas!
What is so special about Durga Pujo? A friend had once asked me “I don’t understand what you Bengalis like so much about Durga Pujo. I find it hard to believe that an entire city can come to a standstill for 4 days continuously, suspending all activities!” Yes, that’s exactly what happens during the 4 days. Huh, big deal you might say, Kolkata comes to a standstill half of the year, owing to reasons ranging from trade unions agitating against their employers to employers agitating against their trade unions, political parties agitating against each other, auto rickshawalas agitating against the government who ironically once paid them to agitate, and common people in general agitating against all these agitations! Its an agitated city, I say! Yes, all this does happen, but the suspension of work for these 4 days is different, and very so.
Well, let me help you picture this- streets decked up with lighting of various hues and shades, colorful puja pandals depicting handicraft works from various corners of Bengal vying with each other, inside those pandals huge idols of Maa Durga and other gods and goddesses prepared and painted in a beautiful way, lakhs of people walking the streets day and night for a glimpse of the pandals and idols, small kids staring with wide-eyed amazement at the crowds around them to elders who have seen it all but still somehow come back every year for the experience, the best dresses being brought out and worn around by everyone, furtive glances thrown by the desperate neighbourhood romeo towards the pretty lass standing in front of the idol (and vice versa as well!), songs playing in numerous mikes around the city-right from the melody of Rabindrasangeet to the nasal cacophony of Himesh (somehow most of his songs always remind me of a hungry cow mooing away) , the smell of camphor in the air, the occasional noise of cap pistols being used by small kids in the neighborhood pandals…well I can go on and on, but by now you get the point!
Durga Pujo, especially for someone like me, who has been brought up in Kolkata, is very much a part of our childhood memories, our growing up and an integral part of our soul. Its actually a bit like being in love - you feel it inside you but its difficult to describe it to others! Its actually much more than a puja, and extends much beyond religious affiliations. It’s a celebration of life- of everything that’s good around us, and a reminder of the simple pleasures of life. When you walk the streets of Kolkata during this time, whoever you are or wherever you are from, you just cant escape the mood, the music in the air, the swaying of the “kashful” (a white flower) to the wind, the purity everywhere in the atmosphere and the overall feeling of joy, happiness and colour around you that is bound to bring a smile in your eyes, lips and heart!
Of course, in recent years, pujo has become more of an industry, with politicians getting actively involved in setting up huge pandals in their constituencies in order to garner votes, and budgets of pujas often looking that of a mid-size company, the entry of corporate sponsors into the pujas, and the consequent commercialization of the entire thing.
However, that doesn’t take anything away from the feeling I have right now when I am preparing to go home for the pujas, because, like a bioscope, I can see fleeting images of a ten-year old boy playing and running around in the puja pandal of his family home, holding a small cap pistol in hand, with his friends and relatives and family around him, and a beautiful idol of Maa Durga watching over him. The boy looks up, laughs and starts running again- he is still running, to reach home tomorrow in time for the most magical place on earth during these 4 days- Kolkata! And while doing so, he invites everyone he knows over to Kolkata for these 4 days to feel the experience, to get a slice of life, to see Durga Pujo!
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Every Second Counts....
I just finished reading “Every Second Counts” by Lance Armstrong, the sequel to his widely acclaimed (and extremely inspiring, I may add) book ”Its Not About The Bike”, and have this insatiable desire to talk to people right now, because what I read in these two books, a lot of it found resonance with me and my thoughts. I would urge everyone of you to pick up these 2 books and go through them, not because they offer some heavy management fundae about life & success, but because they have a quality most books of this genre rarely have- simplicity and uncluttered thought!
For those of you who don’t know, Lance Armstrong is a 5-time winner of the Tour de France, supposedly one of the most ardous and demanding sporting events of the world- a cycling course that takes the contestants 21 days to cover entire France- with all the hills and plains and countrysides, eventually ending in Paris. Lance is a cancer survivor, he was diagnosed with testicular cancer in 1996, and given by many doctors a 20% chance of surviving. He survived, defeated cancer and his opponents to become the undisputed cycling great of all time. And in these books he has taken the reader through his journey through his entire process of being diagnosed with cancer, going through the painful journey of chemotherapy, coming out of it and winning the tour.
But its not only about that, in fact, that is only the backdrop, the wider message is what he lays more stress on, and what led me to get typing. How many of you remember that line from the Spider-man movie- “We all have a choice”? Never was a truer word spoken, and a simpler one at that. But, being simple as it is, it also gets one thinking, thinking about life in general and the way we live our lives.
We all do have a choice, and that applies to every moment and every occasion of our lives. We can choose to feel good or bad, to be rude to someone or nice, to keep standing on the sidelines and not care about things, or roll up our sleeves and jump in and make a difference.
It’s a bit risky to offer advice, or lecture about how we should live our lives. Someone famous or successful can do that, but I can always be told to mind my own business, or asked what have I done about this, but the problem with being a thinking person is that there is something always knawing away inside us somewhere, something that keeps asking us if this is the life we want to live all our lives? This waking up every morning and counting down to the weekends (come to think of it, if we keep living for the weekends our whole lives, we would be alive for only 2/7th of our lives, for the rest, we would be barely existing!), bitching behind someone’s back, complaining about our bosses and colleagues, feeling jealous of our friend who has a better car/house/wife/husband than us, etc etc. Well, I sometimes feel, the best answer to this can be got by asking yourself a simple question: “How would you like to be remembered?” The scariest thought for me is the thought that when I am old and look back at my life, I don’t want to get the thought “What might have been, if I had decided to live my life that way”.
The problem that most of us (and it includes me!) face in these situations, is that we become so ensconced and comfortable in our daily lives, so taken by the luxuries this life has to offer, that it becomes a difficult thing to comprehend taking a risk. It’s a comfort zone we move into, and human beings, by their very nature, are averse to change, there is an inertia inside us that always tries and keeps us where we are, irrespective of what we might think. Or, like many of us learn to compromise with our dreams, because of circumstances, or a multitude of reasons.
They say there are two options: love what you do, or do what you love! The only problem, according to me, with the first option is that it somehow represents a non-fulfillment of our potential or the purpose we have come into this world for, and is thus, to a degree, unacceptable to me. Of course, many of us might already be doing what they love (and I count those souls blessed!) or have learnt to love what we are doing, or at least learnt to put our lives in a kind of a comfort-inducing pattern which somehow fills up our days with activity, and helps provide for our comfortable lives.
But, for the rest (which includes me), we need to keep looking, keep searching for that one thing we have been sent here for, and keep searching for some more meaning in our everyday lives, as well as keep searching for that courage to take the plunge when the realization dawns! But till the time we get there, I have a few suggestions to make our lives feel better, and to feel more alive (I have tried this and this works!). In fact, its simple really- be nice to people! Yes, ridiculous as it may sound, it’s a great way to feel more alive. And here, I mean anyone you come in touch with, it can be your driver, your servant, the traffic policeman, the cafeteria boy in office, absolutely anyone! Give them a smile when they look at you, and you will see the impact! Trust me, its much easier to be nice to people than to be rude, and when we are nice to someone, we are actually being nice to a part of us, and that’s why you will always feel bright and happy when you help someone. Its actually yourself you are helping- small things, join an NGO in the weekends, spend an hour of your week’s time with poor kids or old people, sponsor a child’s education, and I promise you, you will instantly feel more alive. You know why? Because this is precisely what distinguishes us from animals, the ability to feel/care for someone else apart from ourselves!
And of course, meanwhile, we will keep looking for that answer that eludes us for the time being, and which will ensure we live everyday of our lives, and don’t just exist, and when time comes to walk into the sunset, we do so with the satisfaction of a life well-lived! God bless!
For those of you who don’t know, Lance Armstrong is a 5-time winner of the Tour de France, supposedly one of the most ardous and demanding sporting events of the world- a cycling course that takes the contestants 21 days to cover entire France- with all the hills and plains and countrysides, eventually ending in Paris. Lance is a cancer survivor, he was diagnosed with testicular cancer in 1996, and given by many doctors a 20% chance of surviving. He survived, defeated cancer and his opponents to become the undisputed cycling great of all time. And in these books he has taken the reader through his journey through his entire process of being diagnosed with cancer, going through the painful journey of chemotherapy, coming out of it and winning the tour.
But its not only about that, in fact, that is only the backdrop, the wider message is what he lays more stress on, and what led me to get typing. How many of you remember that line from the Spider-man movie- “We all have a choice”? Never was a truer word spoken, and a simpler one at that. But, being simple as it is, it also gets one thinking, thinking about life in general and the way we live our lives.
We all do have a choice, and that applies to every moment and every occasion of our lives. We can choose to feel good or bad, to be rude to someone or nice, to keep standing on the sidelines and not care about things, or roll up our sleeves and jump in and make a difference.
It’s a bit risky to offer advice, or lecture about how we should live our lives. Someone famous or successful can do that, but I can always be told to mind my own business, or asked what have I done about this, but the problem with being a thinking person is that there is something always knawing away inside us somewhere, something that keeps asking us if this is the life we want to live all our lives? This waking up every morning and counting down to the weekends (come to think of it, if we keep living for the weekends our whole lives, we would be alive for only 2/7th of our lives, for the rest, we would be barely existing!), bitching behind someone’s back, complaining about our bosses and colleagues, feeling jealous of our friend who has a better car/house/wife/husband than us, etc etc. Well, I sometimes feel, the best answer to this can be got by asking yourself a simple question: “How would you like to be remembered?” The scariest thought for me is the thought that when I am old and look back at my life, I don’t want to get the thought “What might have been, if I had decided to live my life that way”.
The problem that most of us (and it includes me!) face in these situations, is that we become so ensconced and comfortable in our daily lives, so taken by the luxuries this life has to offer, that it becomes a difficult thing to comprehend taking a risk. It’s a comfort zone we move into, and human beings, by their very nature, are averse to change, there is an inertia inside us that always tries and keeps us where we are, irrespective of what we might think. Or, like many of us learn to compromise with our dreams, because of circumstances, or a multitude of reasons.
They say there are two options: love what you do, or do what you love! The only problem, according to me, with the first option is that it somehow represents a non-fulfillment of our potential or the purpose we have come into this world for, and is thus, to a degree, unacceptable to me. Of course, many of us might already be doing what they love (and I count those souls blessed!) or have learnt to love what we are doing, or at least learnt to put our lives in a kind of a comfort-inducing pattern which somehow fills up our days with activity, and helps provide for our comfortable lives.
But, for the rest (which includes me), we need to keep looking, keep searching for that one thing we have been sent here for, and keep searching for some more meaning in our everyday lives, as well as keep searching for that courage to take the plunge when the realization dawns! But till the time we get there, I have a few suggestions to make our lives feel better, and to feel more alive (I have tried this and this works!). In fact, its simple really- be nice to people! Yes, ridiculous as it may sound, it’s a great way to feel more alive. And here, I mean anyone you come in touch with, it can be your driver, your servant, the traffic policeman, the cafeteria boy in office, absolutely anyone! Give them a smile when they look at you, and you will see the impact! Trust me, its much easier to be nice to people than to be rude, and when we are nice to someone, we are actually being nice to a part of us, and that’s why you will always feel bright and happy when you help someone. Its actually yourself you are helping- small things, join an NGO in the weekends, spend an hour of your week’s time with poor kids or old people, sponsor a child’s education, and I promise you, you will instantly feel more alive. You know why? Because this is precisely what distinguishes us from animals, the ability to feel/care for someone else apart from ourselves!
And of course, meanwhile, we will keep looking for that answer that eludes us for the time being, and which will ensure we live everyday of our lives, and don’t just exist, and when time comes to walk into the sunset, we do so with the satisfaction of a life well-lived! God bless!
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Mile sur mera tumhara!
Some years back, when we were in school, there was this lovely jingle on tv (Doordarshan then), “Mile sur mera tumhara, to sur bane hamara”. I don’t know how many of you remember that, but it left an indelible mark on my mind, it was one of those innocent ideas we grew up with. All those people from different parts of India, walking and running together, singing songs in their own languages, and eventually everyone joining together and singing the above lines, it was a beautiful piece, and if you ask me, nothing has managed to capture the true essence of our country better than that 5-minute long song. It somehow told me that I am a part of a country whose strength lies in its diversity, and that somehow, in some strange manner, the diverse parts come together to form a beautiful homogeneous whole! And somehow, the whole always manages to exceed the sum of parts in this union.
Today, on the 62nd birthday of our young nation, this is the first thought that comes to my mind. Think of it, in how many countries on this earth would you find such an amazing range of diversity, starting from the 28 states and numerous union territories, to the amazing number of languages being spoken there, the diverse set of customs, the huge range of food habits (ranging from the mouth-watering paranthas & chicken butter masala in the north, to the dal-bati-churma in Rajasthan, to the hilsa & sweets in Bengal, to the vada-pav and pav-bhaji in Mumbai, to the spicy Chettinad chicken & biriyani in Andhra, right down to appam and stew in Kerala!), the amazing dance forms (like chou, bihu, kathak, bharatnatyam, garba, bhangra to name a few) that are as diverse from each other as salsa, tango and jive, the different dress materials, the different weather patterns in different areas of India! Think of the geographical diversity, ranging from the Himalayas up north, to the gangetic plains down below, to the Thar desert in the west and the lush green paddy fields in the east, the beautiful hills of the “seven sisters’ of North-east, to the huge coastline along the Arabian Sea, the Indian Ocean and the Bay of Bengal, well I can go on and on, but you get the point!
Before leaving home, I, like many others, believed anything south of the Deccan is South India, and therefore, similar. Little did I know that Tamil Nadu and its people are as different from Karnataka and Andhra as Punjab is different from Kerala! Truth to say, I got a feel of the real diversity that exists in this country only after I left home, and that is when I truly fell in love with the idea of India! Its mind-boggling, to say the least, and if you take some time out to think of the diversity that exists, and inspite of which we manage to function as one country, united at our heart, you know why an author once proclaimed that “knowing India fully can take a lifetime, and that knowing India is like taking a peek into your own soul”.
There is a file line between nationalism and nationalistic chauvinism, a line I don’t intend to cross even given my love for my country. There are a lot of ills that plague us today, ranging from terrorism, both internal and external, the ever present spectre of corruption, which some people claim has become an inseperable part of our daily existence. There is of course, the ever-present threat of poverty, malnutrition, illiteracy & unemployment, which in turn give rise to a host of other socio-economic-political issues.
But, the eternal optimist that I am, I see scope for hope and positivity. Economically, we are ever improving, and do have sound fundamentals, we have an effective judiciary in place, and most importantly, I see the political scenario changing, slowly, but still, changing and for the better! I have always maintained that the politico of any nation is its most important section, if only for the sheer reach and scope of its influence. And herein, I see more and more sections of youth taking an active interest, more political parties realizing that they need to cater to this demanding vote bank, and I foresee a gradual cleansing of our political system in years to come (well, this bodes well for me too, given my own political ambitionsJ).
So, I end this on a positive note, with a hope and prayer, and a call (as always) to every one of us to keep the faith in our country, and start taking active interest in the goings-on of our country and our system, and I promise you guys, tomorrow is always gonna be brighter! Jai Hind!
Today, on the 62nd birthday of our young nation, this is the first thought that comes to my mind. Think of it, in how many countries on this earth would you find such an amazing range of diversity, starting from the 28 states and numerous union territories, to the amazing number of languages being spoken there, the diverse set of customs, the huge range of food habits (ranging from the mouth-watering paranthas & chicken butter masala in the north, to the dal-bati-churma in Rajasthan, to the hilsa & sweets in Bengal, to the vada-pav and pav-bhaji in Mumbai, to the spicy Chettinad chicken & biriyani in Andhra, right down to appam and stew in Kerala!), the amazing dance forms (like chou, bihu, kathak, bharatnatyam, garba, bhangra to name a few) that are as diverse from each other as salsa, tango and jive, the different dress materials, the different weather patterns in different areas of India! Think of the geographical diversity, ranging from the Himalayas up north, to the gangetic plains down below, to the Thar desert in the west and the lush green paddy fields in the east, the beautiful hills of the “seven sisters’ of North-east, to the huge coastline along the Arabian Sea, the Indian Ocean and the Bay of Bengal, well I can go on and on, but you get the point!
Before leaving home, I, like many others, believed anything south of the Deccan is South India, and therefore, similar. Little did I know that Tamil Nadu and its people are as different from Karnataka and Andhra as Punjab is different from Kerala! Truth to say, I got a feel of the real diversity that exists in this country only after I left home, and that is when I truly fell in love with the idea of India! Its mind-boggling, to say the least, and if you take some time out to think of the diversity that exists, and inspite of which we manage to function as one country, united at our heart, you know why an author once proclaimed that “knowing India fully can take a lifetime, and that knowing India is like taking a peek into your own soul”.
There is a file line between nationalism and nationalistic chauvinism, a line I don’t intend to cross even given my love for my country. There are a lot of ills that plague us today, ranging from terrorism, both internal and external, the ever present spectre of corruption, which some people claim has become an inseperable part of our daily existence. There is of course, the ever-present threat of poverty, malnutrition, illiteracy & unemployment, which in turn give rise to a host of other socio-economic-political issues.
But, the eternal optimist that I am, I see scope for hope and positivity. Economically, we are ever improving, and do have sound fundamentals, we have an effective judiciary in place, and most importantly, I see the political scenario changing, slowly, but still, changing and for the better! I have always maintained that the politico of any nation is its most important section, if only for the sheer reach and scope of its influence. And herein, I see more and more sections of youth taking an active interest, more political parties realizing that they need to cater to this demanding vote bank, and I foresee a gradual cleansing of our political system in years to come (well, this bodes well for me too, given my own political ambitionsJ).
So, I end this on a positive note, with a hope and prayer, and a call (as always) to every one of us to keep the faith in our country, and start taking active interest in the goings-on of our country and our system, and I promise you guys, tomorrow is always gonna be brighter! Jai Hind!
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