Holy Matrimony!!

“We cordially invite you to be a part of our marriage ceremony and share our happiness”- reads most of the marriage invites- those colourful, sometimes tacky-looking, invitation cards that are such a part of our custom. The families of the bride and groom invite all and sundry to be a part of the holy matrimony their children are about to be a part of, and which builds up to the mega event grandiosely called the Big Fat Indian Wedding!




As I sit alone in my rented apartment this Saturday evening and spend my last weekend as a bachelor, there are multiple thoughts streaming through my mind, in multiple directions, like dry leaves being blown around in an autumn afternoon by the breeze. I cannot still fully comprehend the fact that I am getting married, that I am going to share my life with someone else. I had left home 9 years back, and lived all these years as a true-blue bachelor, you know, things like, coming home when you please, eating out wherever (including the most unhygienic places) and whenever you want to, watching the crappiest movies in town and guffawing through them, spending money on the flimsiest of causes and excuses, but most importantly, not having to answer to anyone on anything! Now that all that is going to change, I can’t but feel a tinge of regret and a wisp of nostalgia, all the fleeting images of the last 9 years rushing back to me.



But experienced (I mean, married) people often say it’s a mix of both- the sharing of your life with someone else can be exasperating and uplifting at the same time, it can make you fight with your spouse over small things as well as give a whole new meaning to every day of your life. Well, I choose to believe them (not that I have an option!), but I guess it’s a quantum leap for me (or, for that matter, anybody who has been living as a bachelor outside his home for a long time)- from not sharing your room with anyone to sharing your entire life with someone! Guess this is a part of the change management situations that confront us in life every now and then.



The entire experience is once-in-a-lifetime (hopefully!). It all started with seeing my parents giving advertisements in the papers, me opening a profile on Bharat Matrimony, to going to meet girls to check (and be checked!) if they are the right match for me and my family, all in the matter of one hour! After the second interview (both-sided), I had developed a fixed set of questions, and in a fixed order, and the interview often resembled two wary boxers circling each other, waiting for the next blow from the opponent, and trying to duck under it and coming out with a reply of your own. It’s a difficult thing, and I’m sure those of you who have gone through arranged marriages would vouch for this, I mean, how can you really know who is right for you and vice versa, in a matter of an hour? Of course, after we got tired and selected each other more to get out of this infinite loop than anything else, came the courtship- short demure conversations slowly metamorphosing into endless talkathons, and understanding the person behind the face, a couple of meetings, and finally, the stamp of approval! The deal had been signed, and the project was underway! Of course, the final culmination of it all, the final act is still to be played out, but we are almost there….



What is it actually, I still don’t know. Whether we really complete each other, how it will feel like to wake up next to someone, to come home to someone, to know there is someone who you cant take for granted (like we do with our parents), and that whether the knowledge that I will not be coming home to roommates but my lifemate will make me want to reach home earlier than usual. But one thing is for sure, everything I know is about to change (for better, hopefully!), and as they say, end of one journey always indicates the beginning of another,……….



-An apprehensive soon to-be bachelor